Elon Musk and the ultimate geek midlife crisis

Not that any of us were wondering, but Elon Musk hasn’t had sex in ages.

Regrettably, that’s a headline most of us woke up to. Heatwaves, wildfires, shark attacks, COVID surges, inflation, war — now this.

Haven’t we suffered enough?

Apparently not. Welcome to the kind of mid-life crisis specific to tech billionaires obsessed with colonizing space, owning the moon and Mars, dimming the sun, and generally controlling the universe. Don’t buy a sports car — start a car company. Don’t use Viagra — shoot rockets into space. Or, you know, into one of your investor’s wives.

These are geeks. Freaks. The crème de la crème of the socially awkward. See: Nerds, revenge of.

Elon Musk is their leader. All the money in the world, not the hairplugs or the chin implants or…