By *Disclaimer:* Casual sex is different from casual drug use, because no one’s life was ruined over casual use. However, it’s important to note that, just like drug use, casual sex is not without its consequences.
Just because casual sex has not only been legitimized in recent years, but veritably been made the social standard, doesn’t mean that it’s always super healthy. The ubiquity of porn, media examples, and above all, the swiping model of dating apps have all contributed to a society where hookup culture can be the default — “If having sex was once taboo, not having it is today,” says Washington Post columnist Christine Emba in her book Rethinking Sex: A Provocation. This pressure to hook up can lead to having — and even seeking out — sex when you don’t really, genuinely want it.
But that isn’t to say that casual sex is itself a problem — approached properly, if anything, it can be and is empowering, liberating, and most importantly, pleasurable. The key is knowing that you’re in it because you want to be (pun not intended), and you’re aware of and prepared against potential consequences, like catching something (be it feelings or STDs). So long as that’s true, you should go forth and get laid.
The dedicated hookup app is the horny person’s vessel for hot instant gratification. But the cool thing is that most dating apps can be used for sex purposes these days. Where you decide to go to find your casual fling really just depends on how much you’d like to know about the person in your bed. The butterflies of meeting someone new are still there — they just might be happening in a different region of the body.
Is casual sex bad for you?
*Disclaimer:* Casual sex is different from casual drug use, because no one’s life was ruined over casual use. However, it’s important to note that, just like drug use, casual sex is not without its consequences.
Just because casual sex has not only been legitimized in recent years, but veritably been made the social standard, doesn’t mean that it’s always super healthy. The ubiquity of porn, media examples, and above all, the swiping model of dating apps have all contributed to a society where hookup culture can be the default — “If having sex was once taboo, not having it is today,” says Washington Post columnist Christine Emba in her book Rethinking Sex: A Provocation. This
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When we have casual sex, it’s generally when we want to do it — we’re not really planning on how to get sex. We’re just not looking for it with a certain person who we’re just not all that into right now. We’re just looking for something — we’ve asked ourselves why we’re going out to meet someone. Why the hell am I going out? And at the same time, we’re happy to talk to the right person.
And once we do find that person that we’re willing to explore our feelings with, we can enjoy being intimate with them.
That’s all good and well and dandy — but if we’re having casual sex, there are just some things we need to know about the person we’re with. You don’t want to get into a casual relationship with someone who has STIs or who’s cheating on their spouse.
So it’s a no-go if they have anything major, like HSV-1 herpes, for instance. You also wouldn’t want to have sex with someone that was just on PEP, because you could pass it on to them.
But most of the time, I think we’re safe with whatever community standard we’re engaged with. Most people who have casual sex aren’t going to have several relationships within a time frame and it’s unlikely that they’d go to someone else’s house for sex, or they’re not going to stick their dick into someone who they actually want a relationship with. And while it’s possible that there’s always some assholish dude who’s going to do something idiotic, the odds are that you’ll be fine.
But when someone is in the mood for a hot romp, you can bet that they’re putting out just as much signal, if not more. They’re a little more forward, wanting to be with someone.
Plus, if it’s casual sex, both people are a little more available and willing to be there. They don’t have the hang-ups about casual dating. You’d never know that they weren’t really interested in a full-blown relationship, and so it doesn’t ever get awkward later when the sex isn’t really great and you start talking about how you two really aren’t into each other.
Are hookups safe?
If you’re having sex with someone just for a hookup, you’re more likely to face the risks of casual sex than if you actually had a serious relationship with someone — casual sex puts you at a higher risk of unsafe sex
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